i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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