remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
