You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
