My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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