i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
