Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
