I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
