you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
