remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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