Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
