I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
