Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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