I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
