My balls are so social today.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
