Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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