I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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