I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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