ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
