Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
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Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
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I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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