Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
This house was built for laser tag.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just gargled with NyQuil
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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