Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
