If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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