remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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