Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
