a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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