the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
