are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
