i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
