Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
