If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
