he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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