dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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