Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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