according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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