Will you blow on my dice?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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