How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize