so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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