So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
cat food counts as protein by the way
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
