I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
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Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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