i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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