Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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