I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
