Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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