i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
