what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
