so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
