it hurts more in the daytime
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
