we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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