saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
