This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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