I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
