I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
