I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
