Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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