we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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