Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
my liver is dry heaving
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
