it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
