I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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