So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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