I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
