I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
