brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
