if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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