I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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