Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
