It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
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If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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