David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
