I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
