he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
