who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
