theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need a beard to bite.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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